Humor · Miniatures

Toymallet 40¢

"Welcome to the world of totally cheap tabletop wargaming! Why spend buckets of cash on a superior, worthwhile product when you can download this crappy cheap ass parody of Warhammer 40K? Now you too can roll fistfulls of dice to see who split whos testicles open on the bloody field of battle, otherwise known as the kitchen table. Now, you too can have no life and be the sort of nerd who even furries snicker at: a grognard, a wargamer. This and more is all yours for cheap as free with TOYMALLET 40 Cents!"

2 players—medium difficulty

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About the game

What is Toymallet 40¢

(from author's webpage)

Beneath the parody, this is a simple but playable miniatures wargame. Two players take turns moving, shooting, and assaulting with their miniatures armies, which can be made from almost any kind of miniatures or toys. Everything is fitted into three broad categories (squads, commanders, and tankmecha), with some options for further characterization by special rules (extra armour, flight capability, etc). All combat is resolved by rolling six-sided dice, and all measurement is in terms of Lengths (any length unit the players agree on - the game accomodates miniatures of any scale if you chose a sensible length of a Length). The winner is the side that after six turns have accumulated the most Happy Time Fun points, which are earned for seizing objectives and killing enemies.

Specs